Chappell Roan & Pink Pony PawPaw: It's Their Moment
- Jun 28, 2024
- 5 min read
TikTok Internet moments are in abundance, there's a new one each week. I usually don't buy into them, but this one caught me and got me thinking and feeling a lot of things.
Potentially, Tiktok Internet moments like this could become a theme on this blog.
Recently a video of an older man at a Chappell Roan concert has gone viral on Tiktok. He is having the time of his life singing along to her hit song 'Pink Pony Club'. TikTok has decreed him 'Pink Pony PawPaw' as a play on the song name and an affectionate name for a father figure in America. The video is sweet and, spare a few haters, people are celebrating it. But, it's highlighting an important point that has made me feel things that I want to discuss.
I've always been quite aware of the lack of older gay men We all know and understand why, but I feel it's too quickly forgotten, disregarded or broadly just left out of conversations. Our elder gays are typically left out of the conversation in general. After this video went viral, response videos stitching it started filling my for you page of people identifying why it felt so good to see an older man just enjoying life. These videos claim him as part of the LGBTQ+ community or at least identify that he, at least, symbolises an older gay man. And that's when I considered the video with a Rainbow-tinted lens and a wave of melancholia washed over me. It's happy, but it's also sad. It's like nostalgia - you're happy to be seeing it, but sad to be remembering what's gone. Like finding old pictures of you and a loved one who has since passed away.
The song itself, 'Pink Pony Club', has strong themes that relate to the queer experience. Chappell sings the chorus:
Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene. She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream: "God, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl! And you dance at the club". Oh mama, I'm just having fun. On the stage in my heels. It's where I belong down at the Pink Pony Club.
The way a queer person could read this as a metaphor for coming out or being gay is clear. In a way, the song feels like an anthem for the experience; the experience of having to explain your lifestyle; to have to reason with people including your parents. Potentially that is the intention because Chappell Roan is queer herself. With that in mind, the symbol that's been created of Pink Pony PawPaw as this older gay man getting his life at this concert makes sense. And then, you start to relate to him and, for me, I start feeling good to see him happy (even though I don't know him at all).
It's one of those rare Internet moments where something viral feels positive and not like a waste of time, or someone's cheap grab at momentary fame; it feels authentic. And I think it's nice that the Internet has (mostly) embraced this older man and celebrated his freedom to scream Chappell Roan's songs. Especially because of the context it's baked in; the rarity of seeing an older man be unapologetically themselves, and further than that, the rarity of seeing an older gay man who has lived and aged as a gay man. This context leads people to take a lot more from it than just a cute display of joy at a concert, but a display of joy against the odds.
I wanted to write a blog post on this because I wanted to celebrate it. But I also wanted to identify these feelings of melancholic joy in relation to it. For me, the stories of older gay men's lives are some of the most interesting and compelling. The historical and socio-political importance, which is not as far away as people think it is, is horrific and these people survived it, but not only that, they bested it. On top of that, something about is a niche spot of sadness that hits me more than other topics. It's probably why I found It's a Sin so devastatingly sad.
Now, I do know and have seen, some videos of people criticising the video itself as well as the response/establishment of the 'Pink Pony PawPaw' idea:
These critiques assert that we shouldn't assume someone's identity and even that we shouldn't be celebrating someone taking a video of another random person in public. I do see some validity in what they're saying, but once the video is out there and once it is posted, it's too late. The response has been mostly positive and from what I've seen none of the hypotheticals like raised in the above video have come to pass. With that in mind, to that criticism, I would say: have fun. Sure, if the video had been damning, embarrassing or even just of someone in their worst hour, then yes. Or if the response was massively negative and the video painted them in a negative light. But, it's not. And it's fun, it's light-hearted, it's celebratory.
To the critique of assuming sexuality, I say: does it matter? Let people take what they want from a video and reminisce or just enjoy the thought/memory they've been given. It's an old man living his best life at a Chappell Roan concert, even if he isn't gay then it's still an extremely heart-warming and cute video: a man, at a concert, allowing himself to be himself and enjoying it. I do think outing is a serious issue, I was outed myself, but in instances such as this, would it really be outing? People are just assuming his sexuality and celebrating the idea of an older gay man existing in liberation. These types of criticisms even vilify this aspect of the virality. So, which is the actual problem? The sexuality assuming or the outing? If there's any doubt or subjectivity in the sexuality, then the outing isn't really that. When I was outed, it was with hard evidence that was used against me (and my sister). But, if there isn't any doubt, then the assumption of sexuality isn't really that. And that's where the criticisms start to fall apart for me.
Tiktok, as a community-based platform, tends to complain. In every situation where someone or something goes viral, there will always be that camp of people who take umbrage. And that's their prerogative. The way I see it is:
A video was posted that a lot of people liked and took something from
A subset of those people all took a very similar and heart-warming interpretation of it based on their shared experiences and backgrounds
In response, they celebrated that on the same platform by sharing their feelings.
At the end of the day, the video shows someone enjoying something in a positive light. They're enjoying something that a lot of people are enjoying and relating to at the moment. They're an unexpected individual to enjoy such a thing. People interpreted that as meaning something and it heart-warmed them and made them remember those that we lost. If more were to come out about the entire situation then maybe that would change, but for now, it's a sweet Internet moment that I think deserves celebrating. And it shines a light on older gay men who are so often left outside of the narrative, despite everything they have done to get us here, everything they have been through and everyone that they/we have lost.
~Luke
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